You never know what you've got till it's gone.

You know, as sad as it sounds I’ve kind of gotten used to people disappointing me. I always seem to make people out to be something they really aren’t and it leads to me feeling like garbage in the end. I always try my hardest to be the best friend that I can be and I end up over doing it every single time and I feel like such a failure most of the time.

I know how selfish I can be but I would like to think that I have an ounce of selflessness within myself. I’ve gotten used to hearing “oh you’re such a good friend and I couldn’t imagine my life without you”, to be totally honest I’m not too sure how much of that I actually believe out of some people.

Isn’t a friendship a TWO way street? Kind of a give and take sort of thing, well from what I’ve observed it’s all take-take-take with a few individuals and to be honest it’s wiping me out to the point where I don’t know how much more I can take. I give my all to people, saying that I’ll always be there for them if they need someone to talk to and what not, I try to remain loyal to that promise and I’d like to be selfish and think that I live up to that pretty well. I’m not going to go into detail but I just don’t like the fact that it always seems like the people you care for the most are the ones who always end up disappointing you more than anyone.

I’m just baffled that there are people out there who think that their friends need to “get used to” the way things are going to be when things change. In all honesty I am the type of person who doesn’t like being told what to do in terms of how I deal with situations like this. There will be no “getting used to it” for me, however if this behavior gets any worse it will result in you having to get used to me being absent from your life simply because I will not stand for being treated like this.

Before this gets to long I’m going to end it here. I guess what my issue is, is the fact that I put TOO much of my all into friendships and what-not and end up taking things too far. I think I need help or advice :\